Think what the world would be like if people chose peace instead of conflict. There would be no extremist “anti-” groups, no radical causes to demonstrate on behalf of. No war! It’s a lovely vision, and let’s hope we achieve it some day.
Meanwhile we can each take a step in the right direction by choosing peace, every day.
Choosing peace doesn’t mean everything will be perfect. It doesn’t mean there won’t still be disagreements — that elections won’t be heated or that marriages won’t break up. It means that the WAY in which those things happen can be pretty much opposite the way they happen now. It means we can make difficult choices and changes in our lives without having to take an adversarial position.
I’ve personally been working on consciously choosing peace for about a decade now and find it requires constant awareness and vigilance. We are emotional animals and we live in a world of free will where we are faced with choices at least every hour of every day. If not in terms of what action to take next, then at least in what thoughts we are choosing to hold in our minds.
Being a true believer that thoughts create matter, I shudder when I find myself hanging onto negative ones for a long time. But just because I finally see myself doing that doesn’t mean I can change channels in my brain and tune into a more pleasant station just like that, with the snap of my fingers. It can be darn hard to change a mindset, and it takes practice.
And when making a really major, difficult decision — one that involves pain no matter which way you go — whoa, Baby!
Here’s a simple, 3-step, visualization exercise I use myself when making a difficult decision, and that I’ve shared with many friends and students when asked for help. I say “simple.” The steps are; making the decision may not be. But I find this always sets me on the right path.
CHOOSING PEACE
- First I lay out all the options I might have regarding the current dilemma, and even write them down if there are several.
- I quiet my mind, close my eyes, and then put myself in each of those optional scenarios, actually experiencing each as if I had already chosen it as my resolution. I take all the time I need in order to really BE in the scenario and to really FEEL, in my heart, what it’s like to have chosen that option. Do I feel angst or anger, disappointment, hope, joy, relief, or what?
- I make my choice. Depending on the issue at hand, obviously joy or hope would be great — and fun — options. But usually, when a decision is very difficult, it’s also filled with tension and pain. In that case, it’s when a pictured scenario brings me a huge sigh of relief and some feelings of peace that I know that’s the option to choose. It may be the easiest choice, or it may not be. It may cause others pain, or it may cause me pain. But if, in my heart, I can feel the rightness of it, and some peace about it, then that’s the way I go.
I know some folks thrive on conflict and would call me a Pollyanna. I’m not. Excitement and healthy debate get a huge thumbs up from me; but situations or relationships that continually create inner turmoil and strife are simply not the context in which I choose to live. Learn lessons from them, yes, but keep perpetuating them by participating in them, no.
I have a friend, Paxton Robey, who talks about these things much better than I can. If you too are trying to create a peaceful life and believe that we each manifest our own reality, you might enjoy his work. He has a free ebook you can download too, called No Time For Karma, which basically addresses how the conflict in our lives is a dead-end cycle and something that only spawns more of the same. I love his name too: Paxton: “Pax”: PEACE. No accident there!
I hope we all have a peaceful and prosperous New Year. I know we can if we really want to — it’s simply a matter of choice.
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